Always a Ray of Sunshine continued...
By Karin Diorio

I watch you put your jewelry on. I watch you decide which pieces go with your clothes. I hear you say which goes better, this or that, and Rebecca was showing me how he was saying it to her.

Every strange occurrence is me. I want to get your attention and I do. You are very aware of me.

Rebecca says she is sorry about Peter. It's like an epidemic. So many young people are dying. What could be causing it? The water... what? Many of her clients are there because of their children's suicides. Peter is a wonderful person and very funny.

Mom, the only difference now is you can't hold me. I have changed my earthly skin for another one. There is life here and it is more beautiful than you can imagine. I will come to you in the future. Not in death, but when you can accept it.

Mark, do not use my death as an excuse not to make it in life.

Thank you, Mom, for the wonderful memorial. It was so beautiful. I loved how you kept rubbing my arm and leg and you know I loved that. Grandma was with me, watching. You know how she loves a good time. Ha Ha...

Peter said to tell you that he likes the new bedspread that we put on the bed. I almost choked with that one because we did put on a new bedspread.

Say hello to my sister. I knew who he meant. He always considered Cathy his sister. He felt a deep kinship to her.

Who is John? Tell my mother John is really helping me here. He is teaching me so much. My father, I told her. He was a great orator in life and he was probably the same there.

Even though I have lost my beloved son, I know he is with me now and through all eternity. Peter said life is eternal, Mom. We will be together again as we have been before. I Love You. In December I remember asking Peter to send me a rose for my birthday if he could. Any color, but a rose to prove to me that he really is around. I was so disappointed that I didn't get one. I then said, "when it is possible, I want you to bring me a rose somehow, some way." When I was leaving Rebecca's, I turned around and low and behold, there were roses all around and the name of her business was "The Purple Rose Entertainment Company." You see, he did bring me a rose after all. As I was leaving Rebecca's, I looked up and looked at the sun and I said, "There is always a ray of sunshine."

What is happening to me?

I had such a wonderful experience the first time with the psychic, Rebecca, that I felt the need to go to her again about six months later. I again asked Peter to make sure he came through for me. I didn't feel that she was as good this time, maybe because Peter had been gone longer and his energy wasn't as strong, but whatever the reason, I wasn't as thrilled with what was said. She did say to me though that he was with Lisa and they hung out together. I kept saying I didn't know any Lisa. That is until I got home and remembered that a dear friend of Jeffrey's growing up had been in an accident and tragically died several days later from her injuries. How could I have forgotten our dear sweet Lisa? Well, anyway, I remembered and Rebecca had even described her to a tee. I am so happy my baby has a pal... especially such a pretty one. One thing about Peter, he always like a good looking girl at his side.

We also listened to my tape recorder which I brought with me. When we replayed it, she said, "Did you have a dog that passed because I can hear a dog barking." I said yes. I had Daisy who died right after my mother. We loved that dog, but she was the love of my mother's life and I was glad to hear that they were together. Other than that, I didn't feel that much was said that she hadn't said before. I asked her if she could teach me to be psychic like her because I already had some abilities. She told me to concentrate on her and to blurt out things that I felt about her and to feel names that might come out. I did this and she told me I did very well, that one of the names was a very difficult name to come up with and that the name belonged to another reading she had that day. I thought it very odd that we didn't pray, which I think would be a very important step to take before doing this. I was soon to find out how right I was.

I started noticing feelings of energy surrounding me. One night I woke up because it felt like my bed was shaking. It didn't stop when I opened my eyes but continued to shake. I also noticed, the next day, that there was white chalky secretion on all of my dark clothes in the closet. It could have been on the rest of the clothing, but I couldn't see it because of the coloring. Each night that I went to bed, I was a little apprehensive because of the feeling of uncertainty. One Friday night, after having our regular Friday night cocktail together, I fell asleep in the TV room. Vince had gone to bed before me and left me sleeping. The TV was on and something whizzed past me with a whirring sound and sat down next to me on the couch. I could actually feel the cushion move as if someone was there. Then, it felt like someone picked up my leg and started to massage it. I instantly thought it was Peter. Then again, it didn't have that kind of feeling that I usually felt when he was around. I jumped up and went to turn the TV off. It was then that I heard the most horribly scary voice I have ever heard that wasn't from a sci-fi movie. It was demonic in sound and I ran to my bedroom and went under the covers as quickly as possible.

Each night, something new would happen. One night I woke up to having a feeling that someone was lying on top of me. I opened my eyes and there, on top of me, was a dark man-like entity. I screamed and it literally flew off me and disappeared. Another night, I again woke up to having something touching me on my private parts. I screamed and an ameba-like entity flew off screeching. Through all this, I must say that Vince never woke up. I was completely awake.

The most terrifying instance was one night I again woke up to someone touching me and I looked up at the mirror on my dresser which is an antique and cherished by me. I looked up and there was the mirror moving back and forth in a fury with a circle of colors moving around and around in 3D and it looked like it was pulsating. All of a sudden, the black entity flew out of the mirror and attacked me. I screamed as loud as I could and woke Vince up. He said I was dreaming. I put my head back down and went to sleep with my heart beating wildly. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. The next day, my brother, John, and Vince, took the mirror off and put it in the garage. This was after I had spoken to a friend who is very into the paranormal. She told me things to do in the bedroom to stop this negative energy from attacking me which it actually was doing. The first thing she said to do was to get the mirror, which was on an outside wall and a portal for entities to come through, and I didn't think twice. I had it removed.

Each night brought new horrors to my bedroom and I was afraid to go to sleep. I slept with the light on every night, but things continued to happen. Many night I was being raped and waking up to being manipulated sexually and jumping out of bed to stop what was happening to me. This eased up gradually, but not until one night when I actually saw the devil's face staring up at me with a horrific grin on his face. I slept with the Bible in one hand, a crucifix in the other, and I dowsed myself with holy water every night. I told the entity to be gone in the name of Jesus Christ and the Lord Thy God. One night I felt someone sitting at the foot of my bed when I woke up and felt a very overweight person sitting there. I dub my feet into this person and he flew away as all the others had done. One night I felt something like a dog moving up the covers and then drop what felt like a ball, then inch up some more, drop the ball again until it came pretty close and stopped.

I spoke to a friend and she told me to take a Polaroid camera and try to take a picture. I put the camera next to my bed. I waited until 1 a.m. and nothing happened. So, I turned over on my stomach with my arm under my head. Within moments, I felt this energy come up the side of the bed until it reached me and this energy picked up my arm and brought it over to the camera. I sat up, got the camera, and took a picture of my closet. I then took a picture of my dresser. It was a completely dark room. I got up, took the pictures outside to the kitchen and put them on the table. I was afraid to look to see what was on them. The next morning, Vince looked at them and said, "Did you see them?" I said, "No. Why is something on there?" He showed me. I can see a body with a cloak and you can see energy coming from it.

One night I woke up to a buzzing sound, but very loud. I looked down and saw my body below on the bed. I then remembered a very hard feeling hit my neck. I jerked and fell back to sleep. Many times Vince would yell at me to wake up because I was screaming and crying. I would wake up and fall immediately back to sleep again.

Another time, early in the morning when Vince had left already for work, I found myself on all fours banging my head against the window. I was so frightened. I got dressed and went to work even though it was six a.m.

Many nights I would wake up to a feeling that our house was moving side to side as if we were experiencing an earthquake.

I still find the white fluid on my clothes in the closet. I don't have those horrible things happen to me anymore. I still have visitors every single night shaking my bed. Sometimes I feel the energy on my back which isn't a bad feeling. It is actually comforting. I can feel the energy on my feet. I hear knocking sounds and strange things still happen. I don't think these entities are harmful to me, but I would like for them to go to the light and let me sleep in peace.

It was Peter's birthday, June 4th. I can't say it is getting any easier. As a matter of fact, it seems to be getting more painful. I miss him soooo much sometimes I can't stand it. Mark, Peter's older brother, is still having a rough time with Peter's death.  What has happened to our family? I never saw this coming. We had a cake and I made pasta and meatballs - one of Peter's favorites. We then let a balloon go to the Heavens to reach him.

June 7, 2004

I was still having experiences last month and I wrote an email to my parish priest. I explained everything I could in the email. Well, not everything. I haven't heard back from him. I'm very embarrassed by the whole thing. I don't know whether to write him again. I did write to a Rabbi that I read about when I was looking up Kabala religion. He was very kind and returned my email right away. He sounded very concerned about me. He told me not to worry and that Peter would go to Heaven. He said it was the wrong thing to do by going to a psychic and that I should have had faith in the Lord. He told me to pray and ask for forgiveness. I have been doing that every night. Nothing happened for a week and I thought it was over. Sure enough, someone came back one night and kept tickling me with a feather-like object. It actually kept me awake. Rabbi Weinstein told me not to communicate with the entity - just to pray. This time I had wondered if it indeed was my son because it didn't feel threatening. This hurts me because my son is being taken from me for the second time. Now I can't tell if Peter is still around me. I do want him to go to Heaven but then I can't seem to let him go. Maybe God wants him to stick around for me to heal and when he thinks it's time, he will call Peter to come home. I hope that is the case.

Vince is planning on going back East to see his family and I am a little afraid to be by myself. I hope nothing happens while he is away. Vince has told me that he wants my brother John to stay with me. Now I feel a little better about his leaving for a week.