My Brother Came to Say Goodbye
By NaHomTima LeFlau
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This is the story of my brother who came to me not long after his suicide. I was very tortured as he and I were not on speaking terms when he died. My brother had left letters to everyone except me and only limited words in my mother's letter for me.
I was visiting in Oklahoma at the time and could not get back for his funeral and it just about killed me. Two of my brothers were so angry with me that they even blamed me. But, then again, suicide leaves so many questions and never any answers.
After I reached home, I had the most vivid dream that night that I've ever had. My brother came to me and his arms were open and outstretched as if to hold me. He said, "I have come to say goodbye. I want you to know that I love you and you should not feel guilty because you didn't do anything to cause my death. You need to forgive yourself. I came to give you peace and to say I love you and goodbye."
Now, a therapist would say all kinds of things about this dream, I know... except for this: He had bruises in the creases of his nose, eyes, chin and throat area.
The next day, I went to his grave and my brother showed up, however he would not get out of his car while I was there. So, I left. Upon my arrival home, my brother came driving in like lightning! He jumped out of his car and, in tears, said, "Can you forgive me?" I said yes, but why? He said, "After you left the cemetery, when I got out of my car, I left the door open. There was not a breeze in the air, but the door slammed so hard, it almost broke my windows." I, then, told him about my dream and what Randall had looked like in my dream. He asked, "How did you know?" I said, "Know what?" He replied, "Randy had bruises in the creases of his eyes, nose and throat, just like you described." I told him I knew because Randall had come to say goodbye to me. He said Goodbye!
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