Just My Thoughts

Christina M. Meide

This is our Halloween issue and, admittedly, my favorite. I was born on Halloween at 10:05 a.m. and, I believe, my birth date had a great deal to do with what I am doing today.

I will be 43 this year. I am at a stage in life where it is easy to look back upon things and see all that has happened to lead me on this road. Is it all a coincidence? I can honestly say I don't believe in coincidence.

Of course, I can't say that I understand the reasoning behind everything that has happened to me over the years, but I am convinced that everything has had its purpose.

Being born on Halloween, especially being somewhat of a homely child, began shaping me early. My birthday drew taunting from the kids in school and gained me the title of witch as early as first grade. At that point in time, the only real reference we had for witches was from "The Wizard of Oz". The taunting was done in such a way that I was meant to feel as though I was the wicked witch in their cruel game.

Many children, with this kind of teasing, would turn into themselves, but I have never been one to do this. I'm a fighter. Not in the sense of putting up my fists, but more like the saying "fighting fire with fire". Instead of allowing their cruelty to hurt me, I started "a witches club". This was the turning point. 

Secretly, as children, we all wished to have magic powers - especially girls it would seem. Even now as adults, we often secretly wish for the abilities that we've seen on television shows such as "Bewitched". My "witches club" was just the ticket gaining me a whole new respect amongst the girls in my elementary class. No longer was the name witch used toward me in a cruel way, but was suddenly transformed into a word of awe.

It was at that point in time that I began collecting every book I could get my hands on concerning the paranormal. I even bought "The Enquirer" with my allowance which was one of those papers that extrapolated on the truth about such things as UFO's, giants, witches, and the like. I had scrapbooks of these articles according to subject matter.

As the years went by, I began writing fiction stories about teenagers with special abilities involved in paranormal events. It wasn't difficult as I was very widely read in everything that was available concerning anything of a "spooky" nature.

Fate kept putting people in my path that had similar interests. At the age of twelve, my best friend, lived in a haunted house. We had candle séances to determine who the spirits were in her home and had great success with a spirit by the name of Felicia. Having always been very good with research, I knew that we could find out whether Felicia ever actually existed by finding out who had lived in the house. The property records were open to the public, so we spent an afternoon going through the ownership records of her house. We discovered that the house was once a plantation home and that Felicia (and there was only one) was one of the servant girls in the early 1800's.

My best friend's mother did not welcome the spirits within as we did. We came home from school one Friday when I had been given permission to spend the night and found her mother in tears on their front porch. She had been sitting out there for hours waiting for us to come home from school. She told us that she had been coming down the stairs, placed her hand on the turnstile and swung herself around. She said it felt as though she'd hit a brick wall and fell back against the wall. Looking up, she saw a solid figure of an Indian woman with a papoose on her back. That's when she headed out the door and had refused to reenter the house until we were there with her.

A good number of things happened to me at the age of 14. In fact, I think this might have been a kind of test year for me to see which way I would actually go - toward good or toward evil. This was a year of turmoil in more ways than one. My parents decided to separate for that year.

There were two guys in the apartment complex buildings close to mine. One was 18 years old and the other was 21, and though they were friends, one was a Christian and the other was a Satanist.

Though I had been raised with good values, there always seems to be, in the teenage years, a fascination for "the bad boy". I was truly intrigued by the 21 year old boy and we would sit for hours doing ESP experiments with cards, talking about the paranormal and it was truly amazing to talk to someone who seemed to know so much about such things. I had church training, but was also drawn to learn about the other side. I purchased the book, "The Complete Witch" and also "The Satanic Bible".

In the meantime, the 18 year old boy would take me aside whenever possible to make sure I was keeping my head on straight. It was truly a battle between good and evil. I was not impressed with "The Satanic Bible" though I did read it all the way through. Being born with a kind nature, I just didn't believe in the revenge and anger that seemed to evolve out of it.

When my parents decided to get back together at the end of that year, I had broken all contact with the 21 year old, but continued to write back and forth with the Christian boy. Much to my surprise, he called me upon entering the Army and asked if I still had "The Satanic Bible". I told him it was packed in a box somewhere. He requested that I send it to him as he had decided to go that direction instead. I don't know what changed him, but I sent the book. It never made it to its destination. Someone stole it upon its delivery. I truly believed something had intervened.

That same year, I was practicing for a school talent show with two other girls. Two of us, Cindy and I, were to sing while the other girl, Gretchen, accompanied us on the piano. We went to Gretchen's house to practice as she had the piano. She owned a black dog named Sasha that might have been a type of lab. Upon us entering the house, Sasha greeted Gretchen, then Cindy, took one look at me and went running with her tail between her legs. This was the first time in my life that I'd ever had an animal react like this to me as I'd lived on a farm for many years and had raised many different kinds of animals.